You can’t write the perfect comeback. These gems typically come from a creative, quick-witted mind that can deliver sick burns at will, like Oprah Winfrey giving out brand-new cars to her studio audience.
You can, however, draw inspiration from the best ones online. Here are some of those we’ve collected and compiled into this list, which you can bookmark for future reference. Feel free to analyze them anytime and see why these work so well.
But in the meantime, you can read through them and be thoroughly entertained, too.
“I’m not saying you’re the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope the dumbest person in the world doesn’t die” I heard an old white guy say it and I bust out laughing every time I think of or hear it
“I see you’re committed to your current level of understanding”
„I would explain it slower, but I don’t believe speed is the problem.”
“i see you’ve set boundaries between yourself and common sense “
This is my work insult: That’s an interesting conclusion you have come to considering the resources available to you.
Besides the obvious what would you change about yourself
My home girl loves calling people “facially challenged” and honestly it’s always stuck with me
Shakespeare’s gems: “Let’s meet as little as we can.” “I do desire we may be better strangers.”
“You couldn’t dump water out of a boot even if the instructions were on the bottom”
“I know you’re trying YOUR best but can you try someone else’s?”
my sister calls me a “troglodyte” on the regular
“You couldn’t find your way out of a wet paper bag, with scissors in both hands.”
I read somewhere “I want you to be a pallbearer at my funeral so you can let me down one more time”
I saw someone get called an irregular verb earlier today
Someone said I “look like I earn Monopoly money”
