Phish in 5 at Madison Square Garden: A Long Lost Fan Rediscovers the Joy That Makes Phish a Billion-Dollar Act

I’m feeling my heart’s not beating anymore

I’m feeling it’s all right, this happened once before

I’m fine, I’m fine ’cause I’m

Dripping in this strange design

None is yours and far less mine

Hold the wheel, read the sign

Keep the tires off the line

Just relax, you’re doing fine

Swimming in this real thing I call life

Can I bring a few companions on this ride?

The song debuted in 1995, at a Voters for Choice benefit concert hosted by Gloria Steinem, after an antiabortion extremist murdered two women at a Planned Parenthood and another family-planning clinic in Massachusetts. Phish played that concert with new material, including “Strange Design.” I didn’t learn this micro-history until this week, as I waded through the heaviness of my memories.

Phish didn’t play “Strange Design” that night in 2000, though I recall dreamcasting it on the setlist with my friends. But they did play other favorites—”Sample In a Jar” and “Limb By Limb” are two of mine—and we flailed around on the lawn of the amphitheater, very young and very alive. They closed that show with “Loving Cup,” a Rolling Stones song, but one that Phish has played so often it’s become a beloved appropriation. (That’s a cover band for you, Mom!)

On Monday night in 2026, at the end of the show, Phish played “Strange Design.” Then, they closed with “Loving Cup.” I was back at Fiddler’s Green, and reveling in the present. Nostalgia may not be Anastasio’s intent, but I can live with it as my own motivation. Next time I’d just rather be in an amphitheater.