1.
“He showed up to pick me up without ever asking for my address.”
2.
“He tried to kiss me at the end of the date. I pulled away because I wasn’t feeling it, and he laughed ominously and said, ‘You’re kidding yourself if you think you have a choice.’ Bruh, I ran TF away and never looked back.”
3.
“His wife picked him up from the date.”
4.
“He said his dad was on trial for attempting to murder his stepmom with an axe, and everyone thought he was going to end up like his dad. But he knew he wouldn’t because, when he got into a fight with his ex, he could have reached for a knife but chose not to.”
5.
“He used the fork from the table to scratch his back. He literally put it inside his shirt, scratched his back, and then used it to eat when the food came.”
7.
“He asked me where HIS flowers were.”
9.
“He said, ‘You are sooo lucky to be on a date with me. I hope you know that,’ while we were sitting in a Sonic parking lot.”
10.
“He told me he found me so attractive because I looked just like his favorite daughter…”
11.
“He did the splits after getting a strike while bowling.”
12.
“His parents kept calling him to come home because he had work in the morning. He was 33, and it was only 9 p.m.”
13.
“He told me it was his and his ex’s favorite restaurant — and she was our server.”
15.
“I paid, and he told me he would’ve ordered more if he’d known I was paying.”
17.
“He sat crisscross applesauce in the BOOTH at dinner.”
18.
“He called HIS MOM and said, ‘Mom, MEET MY WIFE.’ It was our first date and the first time we’d ever met. 💀”
19.
“We went to a steakhouse, and he asked me to cut his steak into bite-sized pieces for him.”
20.
“He talked about me meeting his parents the next day and started discussing baby names for when we would start trying the following year. I’d met this man ONCE.”
21.
“During dinner, he said, ‘My job is so intense that my hands are ruined. I have no fingerprints left. I could get away with pretty much any crime.'”
22.
“He told me he doesn’t like toothpaste, perfume, soap, etc., and only washes himself with water.”
23.
“He literally shushed me. He put a finger to my mouth and said, ‘Shh, I’m talking now.’ LMAO.”
25.
“He played a short film he’d made in college and then cried because it was the first time he’d heard his ex’s voice in the film since their breakup.”
26.
“I fixed the wonky table by putting a piece of paper underneath it, and he told me that was unwomanly. 🙂↕️”
27.
“He started imitating a squirrel while telling me about his Dungeons & Dragons character, who was half squirrel and half man.”
28.
“His mom was our waitress, and he didn’t tell me until he sent back his dish and said, ‘Mom, you know I don’t like onions!’ 🤚🏼”
29.
“When I went to pull out my chair, he thought I was pulling it out for him and went to sit down.”
31.
And last but not least: “He sent me a survey called ‘Are You Worthy to Date Me?’ and said he would GRADE it.”
And suddenly, being single doesn’t sound so bad… Have you ever gone on a first date that was so bizarre, creepy, or painfully awkward that you immediately knew there wouldn’t be a second? Share your story in the comments or anonymous form below — your response may be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post!
