If you’ve never used a dating app before, count your blessings. According to the Pew Research Center, nearly a third of adults in the United States have used a dating site or app before, but that doesn’t mean that they’ve all found love on there. Often, what people discover instead is frustration, rejection, and a mountain of bizarre profiles.
Men on Reddit have been recalling the wildest and most disturbing things they’ve ever seen on women’s dating profiles, so we’ve gathered their juiciest stories below. From bios that couldn’t possibly be perceived positively to photos from their first wedding, it’s clear that many people need some help curating their profiles. Enjoy reading these stories, and be sure to upvote the ones that convince you to avoid dating apps at all costs!
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
Look, I don’t want to have handle anything when I come home. I want peace.
Edit: peace & love. Comfort you when you have a bad day. Not coming home and hear you nagging about small unnecessary things.
Years ago on Plenty of Fish this woman wrote in her profile that she wanted men to send her their social security number so that she can run a background check before they chat.
“Don’t message me if you’re not a doctor.” She was a receptionist at her father’s clinic.
“Let me be your next big mistake. I’m definitely NOT the one, but I promise you’ll still be thinking about me long after!”
Oh, you mean I’ll be suffering from PTSD after the trauma you put me through?
Lovely.
I don’t know if I would consider it “disturbing” but one that is etched in my mind is a woman who wrote “I’m 8 and a half months pregnant. It’s a boy!”.
Always run into this
Bio: Ask me
Interest: Ask me
Location: Ask me
Also, any profile that says “Boss Mom” usually means they’re in an MLM of some kind. Found that out the hard way one too many times.
“I want a man who will confidently pursue me.” Sounds like you’ve dated alot of weak men or let men take advantage of you. Or, worse, you want to be lazy and let him do all the pursuing, showing minimal interest or initiative.
“No mask-wearing freaks!”
Best part: that girl was the HR rep at my job at the time
“I won’t message you first”
Thanks for telling me in advance you have no intention of putting forth any effort into this.
Whenever a women proclaims that “she is a handful” or “she is too much”. I find it super cringe because they are so proud of it, but for men its the biggest red flag in the world.
“You shouldn’t have women friends” (at least she claimed to have no guy friends) and “I will share you with no one.” (I am monogamous but that sounds a bit too possessive).
“Change my mind about men!”
She doesn’t need to say that to a dude on Hinge, she needs to say that to a therapist.
“I miss the days when men went to war and never came back”
This one aged like milk.
“I’m done having fun, I’m ready to settle down”. Comes off as incredibly desperate to me.
“You should not go out with me if you’re a liberal or believe in credit cards”
I get political beliefs being important to someone, but…credit cards?
A second one: an all caps paragraph about how much they hate you (the reader). Truly unhinged.
I saw one whose bio was “I hate cops and white people” followed by several knife emojis.
“A long misandrist speech on how men are the worst”.
“I’m an Ethically Poly Queen”
“My friends say I’m fun”
“Looking for a real man”
“Feed me”.
In the “I’m weirdly attracted to” prompt on hinge she wrote “Dogs”.
I dropped the phone because I was laughing so hard.
“I like hiking,” after a while of bringing up hiking, asking hiking related questions when I was on dating sites and getting vague responses, it finally dawned on me that putting anything about hiking is code for I don’t date fat men.
“Looking for a serious relationship”
…and that’s it. That’s their bio. Nothing about themselves at all.
You’re ready to find a serious partner but can’t spend 5-10 minutes on your dating profile to say something about yourself?
“I bleed monthly”.
That’s it. I mean cool, I pee 5 or 6 times a day, any other bodily functions you want to discuss?
“It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has a good taste” and it’s variations.
I can’t remember the app, but this one chick had no preferences at all as far as body type, religion, income, etc.
Except for race. She only wanted a white guy.
“I don’t send the first message.”
On Bumble…where the woman HAS TO send the first message…**meaning she’s either a troll and/or a complete idiot.**.
“JuSt A Pam LoOkInG for her JiM” Jesus Christ.
Also, when their “hobbies” section includes:
Food.
Hanging with friends
Netflix
Traveling
Sarcasm
Aight cool so you enjoy things that 99% of people enjoy. If you were a spice, you’d be flour.
Any woman who puts her children in her profile picture.
I don’t care that you have kids, but you should not be introducing your kids until the relationship gets serious.
Plus, putting your kids in your profile picture is just asking for creeps to message you.
