{"id":7092,"date":"2026-07-15T23:56:08","date_gmt":"2026-07-15T18:56:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/?p=7092"},"modified":"2026-07-15T23:56:08","modified_gmt":"2026-07-15T18:56:08","slug":"bum-maxxing-sparks-concern-as-experts-say-it-drives-men-toward-their-worst-selves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/?p=7092","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Bum\u2011Maxxing&#8221; Sparks Concern As Experts Say It Drives Men Toward Their Worst Selves"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script>\r\n  atOptions = {\r\n    'key' : '644b717812d811d6a1c1fc5b6ccd6fa6',\r\n    'format' : 'iframe',\r\n    'height' : 90,\r\n    'width' : 728,\r\n    'params' : {}\r\n  };\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script src=\"https:\/\/www.highperformanceformat.com\/644b717812d811d6a1c1fc5b6ccd6fa6\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Young men are reportedly embracing \u201c<strong>bum-maxxing<\/strong>,\u201d a member of the online \u201cmaxxing\u201d family that has nothing to do with improving their appearance.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">While \u201clooksmaxxing\u201d focuses on maximizing one\u2019s physical attractiveness, \u201cbum-maxxing\u201d is all about making oneself <strong>more desirable<\/strong> in the dating scene.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">And just like \u201clooksmaxxing,\u201d which includes extreme methods such as taking steroids and tapping one\u2019s face with a hammer, this trend is also <strong>giving experts a headache<\/strong>.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"post-highlights\"><span class=\"h2\">Highlights<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span class=\"bullet-wrapper\"><i class=\"bullet\"\/><\/span><span>Young men are being encouraged to act emotionally unavailable to seem more mysterious and desirable.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span class=\"bullet-wrapper\"><i class=\"bullet\"\/><\/span><span>&#8220;Bum-maxxing&#8221; stems from rejection, leading men to act toxic and self-interested to protect themselves.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span class=\"bullet-wrapper\"><i class=\"bullet\"\/><\/span><span>New terms like &#8220;bum-maxxing,&#8221; &#8220;ghosting,&#8221; and &#8220;love-bombing&#8221; reflect toxic modern dating behaviors.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<h3 class=\"attachment-link-container shareable-image-block\" id=\"0-6a56bb757adc6__700\" data-href=\"http:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?image_id=0-6a56bb757adc6__700.jpg\"><a class=\"web-share-button list-item-share new-share-experiment\" data-location=\"single-post-image\" data-title=\"Bum\u2011Maxxing Sparks Concern As Experts Say It Drives Men Toward Their Worst Selves\" data-share-url=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?media_id=0-6a56bb757adc6__700\" data-image=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/0-6a56bb757adc6__700.jpg\" rel=\"nofollow\"><i><svg class=\"svg-icon icon-share-icon\" role=\"img\" height=\"16\" width=\"16\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\"><path d=\"M0 15C0 10.8824 5.22292 10.0588 8.79817 10.0588V14.1765L15.7006 8.23061C15.7941 8.15345 15.8695 8.05559 15.9213 7.94441C15.9731 7.83323 16 7.71155 16 7.58824C16 7.46492 15.9731 7.34314 15.9213 7.23196C15.8695 7.12078 15.7941 7.02302 15.7006 6.94586L8.79817 1V5.11765C2.3995 5.11765 0 9.76235 0 15Z\"\/><\/svg><\/i><\/a>Young men are embracing a dating trend that involves acting emotionally unavailable to attract women<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/0-6a56bb757adc6__700.jpg\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" alt=\"A man in a white robe looking at himself in the mirror. This relates to men and their worst selves.\" title=\"A man in a white robe looking at himself in the mirror. This relates to men and their worst selves.\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/h3>\n<p class=\"post-content-media-source\">Image credits: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/pt-br\/fotografias\/um-jovem-olhando-no-espelho-no-quarto-de-manha-rotina-diaria-6MCx94aigsU\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cBum-maxxing\u201d is a dating technique in which men become emotionally unavailable to their suitors. They tell women they\u2019re busy and disappear for days, believing this will make them seem more mysterious.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cBum-maxxing is when men intentionally act in a way that\u2019s toxic, self-interested, and emotionally unavailable,\u201d dating coach Hayley Quinn told <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tyla<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>While this <a href=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/looksmaxxing-influencer-goes-viral-after-confusing-a-girl-for-adult-star\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" staff-link\" rel=\"noopener \">\u201cchaotic guy\u201d dating profile<\/a> is far from new, Quinn explained that it appeals specifically to a generation of men who supposedly tick all the boxes, including being educated and having stable jobs, but still can\u2019t get a match or a second date.<\/p>\n<p class=\"attachment-link-container shareable-image-block\" id=\"2-6a56bb7750399__700\" data-href=\"http:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?image_id=2-6a56bb7750399__700.jpg\"><a class=\"web-share-button list-item-share new-share-experiment\" data-location=\"single-post-image\" data-title=\"Bum\u2011Maxxing Sparks Concern As Experts Say It Drives Men Toward Their Worst Selves\" data-share-url=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?media_id=2-6a56bb7750399__700\" data-image=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/2-6a56bb7750399__700.jpg\" rel=\"nofollow\"><i><svg class=\"svg-icon icon-share-icon\" role=\"img\" height=\"16\" width=\"16\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\"><path d=\"M0 15C0 10.8824 5.22292 10.0588 8.79817 10.0588V14.1765L15.7006 8.23061C15.7941 8.15345 15.8695 8.05559 15.9213 7.94441C15.9731 7.83323 16 7.71155 16 7.58824C16 7.46492 15.9731 7.34314 15.9213 7.23196C15.8695 7.12078 15.7941 7.02302 15.7006 6.94586L8.79817 1V5.11765C2.3995 5.11765 0 9.76235 0 15Z\"\/><\/svg><\/i><\/a><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/2-6a56bb7750399__700.jpg\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" alt=\"A man lying on a couch looking at his phone. This relates to men and their worst selves.\" title=\"A man lying on a couch looking at his phone. This relates to men and their worst selves.\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/p>\n<p class=\"post-content-media-source\">Image credits: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/pt-br\/fotografias\/homem-caucasiano-ouvindo-musica-em-um-sofa-ftNpYjbB878\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After being rejected by previous dates, they feel empowered by doing the same to their next date\u2014even though they\u2019re two different people.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cBigger picture, many men feel totally locked out of the dating scene,\u201d Quinn said. \u201cBeing drawn to radical solutions like bum-maxxing stems from disappointment and rejection.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This time, it\u2019s the women doing the chasing, which makes these young men feel more confident.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"attachment-link-container shareable-image-block\" id=\"3-6a56bb7904b94__700\" data-href=\"http:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?image_id=3-6a56bb7904b94__700.jpg\"><a class=\"web-share-button list-item-share new-share-experiment\" data-location=\"single-post-image\" data-title=\"Bum\u2011Maxxing Sparks Concern As Experts Say It Drives Men Toward Their Worst Selves\" data-share-url=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?media_id=3-6a56bb7904b94__700\" data-image=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/3-6a56bb7904b94__700.jpg\" rel=\"nofollow\"><i><svg class=\"svg-icon icon-share-icon\" role=\"img\" height=\"16\" width=\"16\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\"><path d=\"M0 15C0 10.8824 5.22292 10.0588 8.79817 10.0588V14.1765L15.7006 8.23061C15.7941 8.15345 15.8695 8.05559 15.9213 7.94441C15.9731 7.83323 16 7.71155 16 7.58824C16 7.46492 15.9731 7.34314 15.9213 7.23196C15.8695 7.12078 15.7941 7.02302 15.7006 6.94586L8.79817 1V5.11765C2.3995 5.11765 0 9.76235 0 15Z\"\/><\/svg><\/i><\/a>Men are being encouraged to disappear for days and act \u201ctoo busy\u201d in the hope of appearing more desirable<br \/><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/3-6a56bb7904b94__700.jpg\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" alt=\"A woman smiling at a man in an outdoor setting. This relates to men and their worst selves.\" title=\"A woman smiling at a man in an outdoor setting. This relates to men and their worst selves.\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/h3>\n<p class=\"post-content-media-source\">Image credits: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/pt-br\/fotografias\/um-homem-e-um-mulher-sentando-em-um-tabela-jAbvxJ5kfm8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhat bum-maxxing promises is that you can protect yourself from rejection by operating constantly from a place of emotional distance,\u201d the dating coach told <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tyla<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI can see why this is appealing to some men; however, ultimately, it\u2019s selling a fantasy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As Quinn noted, \u201cbum-maxxing\u201d does not end up benefitting the men who follow it as if it were a recipe for success. First, they miss out on the chance to meet many women who want to feel valued in a relationship. Second, they\u2019re left with the feeling that their actions did not reflect their true selves.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"attachment-link-container shareable-image-block\" id=\"4-6a56bb7a811a7__700\" data-href=\"http:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?image_id=4-6a56bb7a811a7__700.jpg\"><a class=\"web-share-button list-item-share new-share-experiment\" data-location=\"single-post-image\" data-title=\"Bum\u2011Maxxing Sparks Concern As Experts Say It Drives Men Toward Their Worst Selves\" data-share-url=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?media_id=4-6a56bb7a811a7__700\" data-image=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/4-6a56bb7a811a7__700.jpg\" rel=\"nofollow\"><i><svg class=\"svg-icon icon-share-icon\" role=\"img\" height=\"16\" width=\"16\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\"><path d=\"M0 15C0 10.8824 5.22292 10.0588 8.79817 10.0588V14.1765L15.7006 8.23061C15.7941 8.15345 15.8695 8.05559 15.9213 7.94441C15.9731 7.83323 16 7.71155 16 7.58824C16 7.46492 15.9731 7.34314 15.9213 7.23196C15.8695 7.12078 15.7941 7.02302 15.7006 6.94586L8.79817 1V5.11765C2.3995 5.11765 0 9.76235 0 15Z\"\/><\/svg><\/i><\/a><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/4-6a56bb7a811a7__700.jpg\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" alt=\"A man lying on a couch looking at his phone. This relates to men and their worst selves.\" title=\"A man lying on a couch looking at his phone. This relates to men and their worst selves.\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/p>\n<p class=\"post-content-media-source\">Image credits: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/pt-br\/fotografias\/homem-descansa-em-um-sofa-absorto-em-seu-telefone-d0fMcJd1bHQ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"post-desktop-ad-within-content post-ads margin-left\"><span class=\"dfp-ad\"><span><span class=\"pg-ad-label\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhen people feel they must put on an act to attract someone, it erodes their self-worth,\u201d she told <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tyla<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhat bum-maxxing effectively says is, \u2018Don\u2019t be you, be this guy instead,\u2019 which is seriously toxic.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Quinn advised men to meet more women in real life rather than <a href=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/kendra-wilkinson-been-waitlist-dating-app-raya-4-years\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" staff-link\" rel=\"noopener \">through a screen<\/a>, develop better communication skills, and set healthy boundaries in their dating lives.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cLonger run, this can both honour who they are, and get them much better results with dating.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"attachment-link-container shareable-image-block\" id=\"6-6a56bb7c0bde7__700\" data-href=\"http:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?image_id=6-6a56bb7c0bde7__700.jpg\"><a class=\"web-share-button list-item-share new-share-experiment\" data-location=\"single-post-image\" data-title=\"Bum\u2011Maxxing Sparks Concern As Experts Say It Drives Men Toward Their Worst Selves\" data-share-url=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?media_id=6-6a56bb7c0bde7__700\" data-image=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/6-6a56bb7c0bde7__700.jpg\" rel=\"nofollow\"><i><svg class=\"svg-icon icon-share-icon\" role=\"img\" height=\"16\" width=\"16\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\"><path d=\"M0 15C0 10.8824 5.22292 10.0588 8.79817 10.0588V14.1765L15.7006 8.23061C15.7941 8.15345 15.8695 8.05559 15.9213 7.94441C15.9731 7.83323 16 7.71155 16 7.58824C16 7.46492 15.9731 7.34314 15.9213 7.23196C15.8695 7.12078 15.7941 7.02302 15.7006 6.94586L8.79817 1V5.11765C2.3995 5.11765 0 9.76235 0 15Z\"\/><\/svg><\/i><\/a>It comes as nearly 80% of Gen Z and Millennials said they feel burned out by dating apps, citing different reasons<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/6-6a56bb7c0bde7__700.jpg\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" alt=\"A man with glasses and a thoughtful expression, with newspapers in the background. This relates to men and their worst selves.\" title=\"A man with glasses and a thoughtful expression, with newspapers in the background. This relates to men and their worst selves.\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/h3>\n<p class=\"post-content-media-source\">Image credits: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/pt-br\/fotografias\/mulher-no-sueter-cinza-sentado-na-cadeira-zvTvOWt3LEQ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<p>One thing is certain for young adults <a href=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/dystopian-new-dating-method-is-taking-over-california-colleges\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" staff-link\" rel=\"noopener \">trying to find love<\/a> in the digital age: they would prefer to meet their partner in person.<\/p>\n<p>A 2025 <em>Forbes Health<\/em> survey revealed that endless swiping is leading to fatigue. A whopping 79% of Gen Z and 80% of Millennials reported feeling burned out by dating apps.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The biggest reason is the inability to find a meaningful connection, an explanation given by 40% of respondents.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">T<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">his is followed by disappointment with their matches (35%), feeling rejected (27%), and having repetitive conversations while chatting with multiple matches (24%). Others pointed to the pressure to present themselves a certain way, while another group said they felt exhausted by maintaining profiles across multiple dating apps.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/7-6a56bb7da246f__700.jpg\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" alt=\"A woman sits sadly on a bed, while a man sleeps in the background. B*m-maxxing drives men toward their worst selves.\" title=\"A woman sits sadly on a bed, while a man sleeps in the background. B*m-maxxing drives men toward their worst selves.\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"post-content-media-source\">Image credits: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/pt-br\/fotografias\/mulher-sentada-na-cama-homem-dormindo-atras-dela-TRrEeqaLm2o\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Along with dating apps came new terms to describe different behaviors that, while they certainly existed before the internet, have become more common due to the combination of quick connections and the disposable nature of modern dating.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These include \u201cghosting,\u201d which is similar to \u201cbum-maxxing,\u201d except that the person does not play hard to get, but simply disappears overnight after months of talking.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"attachment-link-container shareable-image-block\" id=\"9-6a56bb7f1a5c2__700\" data-href=\"http:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?image_id=9-6a56bb7f1a5c2__700.jpg\"><a class=\"web-share-button list-item-share new-share-experiment\" data-location=\"single-post-image\" data-title=\"Bum\u2011Maxxing Sparks Concern As Experts Say It Drives Men Toward Their Worst Selves\" data-share-url=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?media_id=9-6a56bb7f1a5c2__700\" data-image=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/9-6a56bb7f1a5c2__700.jpg\" rel=\"nofollow\"><i><svg class=\"svg-icon icon-share-icon\" role=\"img\" height=\"16\" width=\"16\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\"><path d=\"M0 15C0 10.8824 5.22292 10.0588 8.79817 10.0588V14.1765L15.7006 8.23061C15.7941 8.15345 15.8695 8.05559 15.9213 7.94441C15.9731 7.83323 16 7.71155 16 7.58824C16 7.46492 15.9731 7.34314 15.9213 7.23196C15.8695 7.12078 15.7941 7.02302 15.7006 6.94586L8.79817 1V5.11765C2.3995 5.11765 0 9.76235 0 15Z\"\/><\/svg><\/i><\/a>\u201cBum-maxxing\u201d is just one of many terms born in the age of dating apps<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/9-6a56bb7f1a5c2__700.jpg\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" alt=\"A man intensely looks at his phone in a dimly lit room. B*m-maxxing drives men toward their worst selves.\" title=\"A man intensely looks at his phone in a dimly lit room. B*m-maxxing drives men toward their worst selves.\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/h3>\n<p class=\"post-content-media-source\">Image credits: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/pt-br\/fotografias\/homem-usando-o-telefone-M5UD_FyuDl8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"post-desktop-ad-within-content post-ads margin-left\"><span class=\"dfp-ad\"><span><span class=\"pg-ad-label\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>There is also \u201clove-bombing,\u201d a form of emotional and psychological manipulation that involves showering someone with flattery, affection, and gifts while moving the relationship at a very fast pace. The goal is to gain control over the other person, making them feel indebted to and dependent on the manipulator.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGaslighting,\u201d another form of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/single-mom-warns-women-after-bumble-message-led-to-30k-dollar-nightmare\/\" target=\"_blank\" class=\" staff-link\" rel=\"noopener \">mental manipulation<\/a> that was Merriam-Webster\u2019s Word of the Year in 2022, is when someone uses specific patterns of behavior to make someone question their sanity, feelings, and their ability to make decisions.<\/p>\n<p class=\"attachment-link-container shareable-image-block\" id=\"10-6a56bb80aba45__700\" data-href=\"http:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?image_id=10-6a56bb80aba45__700.jpg\"><a class=\"web-share-button list-item-share new-share-experiment\" data-location=\"single-post-image\" data-title=\"Bum\u2011Maxxing Sparks Concern As Experts Say It Drives Men Toward Their Worst Selves\" data-share-url=\"https:\/\/www.boredpanda.com\/experts-warn-against-bum-maxxing-trend-of-men-being-their-worst-selves\/?media_id=10-6a56bb80aba45__700\" data-image=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/10-6a56bb80aba45__700.jpg\" rel=\"nofollow\"><i><svg class=\"svg-icon icon-share-icon\" role=\"img\" height=\"16\" width=\"16\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\"><path d=\"M0 15C0 10.8824 5.22292 10.0588 8.79817 10.0588V14.1765L15.7006 8.23061C15.7941 8.15345 15.8695 8.05559 15.9213 7.94441C15.9731 7.83323 16 7.71155 16 7.58824C16 7.46492 15.9731 7.34314 15.9213 7.23196C15.8695 7.12078 15.7941 7.02302 15.7006 6.94586L8.79817 1V5.11765C2.3995 5.11765 0 9.76235 0 15Z\"\/><\/svg><\/i><\/a><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/10-6a56bb80aba45__700.jpg\" width=\"700\" height=\"500\" alt=\"A couple lies in bed back-to-back, seemingly upset. B*m-maxxing drives men toward their worst selves.\" title=\"A couple lies in bed back-to-back, seemingly upset. B*m-maxxing drives men toward their worst selves.\" loading=\"lazy\"\/><\/p>\n<p class=\"post-content-media-source\">Image credits: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/pt-br\/fotografias\/conceito-de-relacionamento-vista-superior-do-jovem-casal-deitado-na-cama-casal-tendo-uma-briga-na-cama-conceito-sobre-relacionamento-e-problemas-entre-casais-frustracao-sexual-os-amantes-ignoram-se-mutuamente-g3ctaaIsvp4\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Unsplash<\/a><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The term comes from the 1938 British play <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gas Light<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, where a toxic husband lies to his wife and tries to convince her that she\u2019s \u201ccrazy\u201d to gain access to her family jewels.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Some examples of \u201cgaslighting\u201d include a partner accusing you of being overly emotional or too sensitive, blaming you for things you didn\u2019t do, denying responsibility for their mistakes, deflecting arguments instead of addressing problems, and questioning your judgment.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"post-desktop-ad-within-content post-ads margin-left\"><span class=\"dfp-ad\"><span><span class=\"pg-ad-label\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"post-desktop-ad-within-content post-ads margin-left\"><span class=\"dfp-ad\"><span><span class=\"pg-ad-label\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"post-desktop-ad-within-content post-ads margin-left\"><span class=\"dfp-ad\"><span><span class=\"pg-ad-label\">ADVERTISEMENT<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span> <\/p>\n<div id=\"postPoll-10915936\" class=\"post-poll poll-wrapper single-post\" data-poll-viewed=\"false\" data-post-id=\"10915936\" data-main-post-id=\"\" data-poll-id=\"28574\"> <input class=\"post-10915936-poll-value\" type=\"hidden\" value=\"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\"\/> <\/p>\n<div data-bind=\"if: isInitialised()\">\n<div data-bind=\"if: !isLoading() &amp;&amp; isShowingResults\">\n<div class=\"poll-content\">\n<h3 class=\"answered-content-title\">Thanks! Check out the results:<\/h3>\n<h3 class=\"answered-content-question\" data-bind=\"text: currentQuestionText()\"\/>\n<p> <span class=\"text\">Total votes \u00b7 <\/span> <span data-bind=\"text: totalVotesFormatted\"\/> <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p> <!-- Newsletter --> <\/p>\n<div class=\"subscribe-to-newsletter-block-wrapper\">\n<p>Newsletter<\/p>\n<div class=\"subscribe-to-newsletter-block\">\n<p><h3 class=\"title\">Subscribe to Access <br \/>Exclusive Polls<\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<div class=\"right\"> <img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/assets.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/themes\/boredpanda\/images\/icons\/subscription-panda.svg\" alt=\"Subscribe to Access &lt;br\/&gt; Exclusive Polls\"\/> <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"disclaimer\">\n<p>By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you&#8217;re agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. 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While \u201clooksmaxxing\u201d focuses on maximizing one\u2019s physical attractiveness, \u201cbum-maxxing\u201d is all about making oneself more desirable in the dating scene. And just like \u201clooksmaxxing,\u201d which includes extreme methods such as taking steroids and&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7093,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/static.boredpanda.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/fb_image_6a56bc97c0a06.png","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-newsweek-trending"],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7092","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7092"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7092\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7093"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7092"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7092"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7092"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}