{"id":37314,"date":"2026-08-10T22:13:40","date_gmt":"2026-08-10T17:13:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/?p=37314"},"modified":"2026-08-10T22:13:40","modified_gmt":"2026-08-10T17:13:40","slug":"why-more-wealthy-parents-are-cutting-off-their-struggling-adult-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/?p=37314","title":{"rendered":"Why more wealthy parents are cutting off their struggling adult kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script>\r\n  atOptions = {\r\n    'key' : '644b717812d811d6a1c1fc5b6ccd6fa6',\r\n    'format' : 'iframe',\r\n    'height' : 90,\r\n    'width' : 728,\r\n    'params' : {}\r\n  };\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script src=\"https:\/\/www.highperformanceformat.com\/644b717812d811d6a1c1fc5b6ccd6fa6\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<br \/>\n<br \/><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F2%2F2026%2F08%2Fnewspress-collage-lsxsllkeo-1786381505239.jpg?quality%3D90%26strip%3Dall%261786367187\" \/><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>Jason isn\u2019t asking his father for an allowance, a luxury car, or even help with rent.<\/p>\n<p>The 38-year-old New York City-based comedian has spent years making what he considers \u201creasonable requests\u201d with a clear plan and proposal.<\/p>\n<p>He wants a shot at the big time \u2014 a $600 improv class, a plane ticket to Los Angeles for a gig that will bring exposure and connections, the occasional investment in a career he\u2019s been building while juggling two jobs.<\/p>\n<p>Despite his <a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2026\/03\/31\/lifestyle\/wealthy-nyc-parents-rush-to-ship-kids-to-overseas-schools-after-mamdani-election\/\">father recently inheriting millions<\/a>, the answer is almost always no.<\/p>\n<p>But Jason, who asked to use a pseudonym, sees things differently.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen I die, you\u2019ll never have to work again,\u201d Jason told The Post of his father\u2019s reasoning. \u201cHe kind of pokes fun that I\u2019m not more financially stable \u2014 \u2018when I was your age, I had a boat, an apartment on Park Avenue, I owned a business\u2019 \u2014 his success was handed to him.\u201d<\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module aligncenter wp-block-nypost-editor-primary-tag\">\n<\/aside>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Bliss Bendell enjoyed her enviable childhood but is not reaping its benefits as an adult.  <span class=\"credit\">Tamara Beckwith\/NY Post<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cA warm gift is better than a cold gift,\u201d he said. \u201cHelp me while it can actually change my life. Why wait until I\u2019m 60?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This increasingly common disagreement is playing out just as America enters the largest transfer of wealth in history. <\/p>\n<p>And several questions loom in the center of the debate: When is helping actually hurting? Do children deserve to benefit from parents\u2019 blood, sweat, and tears? As humans live longer, will there be even enough to go around when all is said and done?<\/p>\n<p>An estimated $124 trillion is expected to change hands over the next two decades, simultaneously exposing a generational divide over what parents owe their adult children.<\/p>\n<p>But for many, the question isn\u2019t whether they\u2019ll inherit someday; it\u2019s why parents who could help change their children\u2019s lives today often choose not to.<\/p>\n<p>For 43-year-old Ashley, her parents\u2019 decision not to buy her a condo despite being aware of the tax benefits is something she still stews over.<\/p>\n<p>The New York native told The Post her parents sold their apartment in the city and then decided to rent \u2014 but lamented over the taxes.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large alignnone\"><figcaption>These adult children are struggling financially \u2014 yet their parents aren\u2019t looking to help them in any way. <span class=\"credit\">Kawee \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cThey could have funneled it into a condo for me and made my life easier,\u201d she told The Post. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cEntitled: yes. Honest: also yes,\u201d she laughed.<\/p>\n<p>Despite being married and in her 30s at the time, Ashley, who also asked to use a pseudonym, thinks that with her parents\u2019 successful careers, especially a mother who worked in real estate, it was almost expected.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIn retrospect, I think they were too self-involved and felt they paid for my wedding and college and private school, so why help me out,\u201d she reasoned.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignleft\">\n\t<\/aside>\n<p>\u201cI should have been more assertive. When I was little, all I wanted was an American Girl Doll. I left catalogs around. Read the books. They never thought to buy me the doll. They wouldn\u2019t think to do it. \u00a0It\u2019s the same thing on a much larger scale.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Despite being financially comfortable, she feels the weight of their decision as she shops the housing market in Los Angeles.<\/p>\n<p>However, she is aware of the privilege she was given.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know I sound like a spoiled brat, but the doll thing is sad and true.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Rich Kingly, a <a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2026\/05\/26\/real-estate\/baby-boomers-forced-to-find-roommates-amid-ridiculous-rent-costs-and-some-find-they-enjoy-company\/\">baby boomer<\/a> Texas business owner with three grown children, sees financial restraint as one of the greatest gifts he can give them.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFresh asphalt feels smooth, but if the foundation underneath is weak, it eventually cracks,\u201d the paving CEO told The Post, arguing that parenting works the same way.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMoney poured on top of an untested life can hide weaknesses instead of building strength. I\u2019d rather watch my kids struggle, adapt, and succeed on their own than pave over every obstacle for them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kingly was realistic about the reactions his children may have when it was far from excitement.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed aligncenter is-type-rich is-provider-instagram wp-block-embed-instagram\"\/>\n<p>\u201cOver time, they\u2019ve come to understand that my goal isn\u2019t to make life harder for them \u2014 it\u2019s to make sure they never feel limited by relying on an inheritance,\u201d the father said, adding that he was raised with the expectation that if you wanted something worthwhile, you earned it.<\/p>\n<p>New Jersey business owner Doug Conner echoes the same sentiment.<\/p>\n<p>The 55-year-old says he\u2019s more interested in passing down values than dollars. The father of 30-year-old twins believes inheritance can become \u201ca substitute for ambition,\u201d and says the greatest legacy he can leave his children is the mindset that helped him build his success\u2014not the money itself.<\/p>\n<p>Parents like Kingly and Conner aren\u2019t necessarily trying to <a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2026\/07\/31\/lifestyle\/millennials-sayt-hey-refuse-to-care-for-aging-boomer-parents\/\">punish their children<\/a>. In fact, wealth advisors and financial planners say they hear this philosophy over and over again.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSometimes the greatest act of love from a parent isn\u2019t just solving every one of their child\u2019s problems that come up. It\u2019s helping the child learn how to solve their problems themselves,\u201d Michael McAuliffe, a debt management and credit counselor, told The Post.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed aligncenter is-type-rich is-provider-x wp-block-embed-x\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"embed-wrapper twitter\">\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-width=\"550\" data-dnt=\"true\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">Boomers love to say \u201cwe all struggled in our 20s.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No, you didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>You didn\u2019t pay $3,000 rent and $10 for eggs<\/p>\n<p>You didn\u2019t graduate with $100K in debt and no job security.<\/p>\n<p>Gen Z isn\u2019t dramatic.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re drowning.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 daz (@MetamateDaz) <a href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/MetamateDaz\/status\/2074131753900638539?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">July 6, 2026<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<p>McAuliffe adds that he\u2019s repeatedly seen significant inheritances be blown because of the lack of financial literacy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOne of the questions I encourage parents to ask in this scenario is, \u201cAm I creating an opportunity or creating a dependency?\u201d\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Several wealth management experts told The Post that the conflict between generosity and stinginess comes up often, and is rarely black and white, despite a hard-line position.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere\u2019s typically a combination of pride and fear that\u2019s going on underneath,\u201d private wealth counselor Paul Ferrara told The Post.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAlmost one-third of the parents I speak with share in my concern: easy money now means dependency later.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Adults and children are going head to head on who owes who what. <span class=\"credit\">Niko_Dali \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>But Ferrara notes sometimes it\u2019s not about the child at all.<\/p>\n<p>\u201dIt can actually save the parent\u2019s runway as well. I have seen retirement plans that were slowly destroyed over the years by years of small loans that were never repaid,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<p>And if a parent wants to take the stance of restraint, their own investments significantly improve when they retire, he said.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignleft\">\n\t<\/aside>\n<p>But it\u2019s not always black and white for parents, many of whom want to do anything they can to help their children. A narrative circulating among some more open parents on social media is that \u201cI brought them into this world, they never asked for that,\u201d meaning the onus of care should fall back on the parents if need be.<\/p>\n<p>Joe L., a 62-year-old retired Texan with three adult children, says there is no universal rule for helping grown kids financially.<\/p>\n<p>Over the years, <a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2026\/04\/15\/real-estate\/first-time-home-buying-plunges-to-record-low\/\">he\u2019s let children move back home<\/a> when they needed to, helped one daughter buy a used car after she earned her MBA by covering the payments for a year, and provided student loan payments knowing the cost of living has been significantly inflated on this generation.<\/p>\n<p>But every decision comes with the same calculation: how to help his children without jeopardizing his own retirement or creating long-term dependence.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf everything is handed to someone, my experience is they don\u2019t appreciate it,\u201d the Texas native told The Post. \u201cThe struggle is good to a point, but at the same time if someone has a lot of money and their children are just living in poverty there is a line where parents should help.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Joe L. is a 62-year-old retired Texan who has greatly helped his three adult children.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Through open conversations, the father says his children are aware of the balance. However, they don\u2019t always take it in stride, especially when many millennials harbor the same notion that success was laid out on a silver platter for earlier generations.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think sometimes there can be some resentment, \u201cI didn\u2019t have it as easy as you,\u201d but I think sometimes that\u2019s a little misplaced because we all agree that the economy and the inflationary dollar have made it tough.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>There is also nuance from the child perspective.<\/p>\n<p>A popular social media account, @catherinelovesastrology, focused on intergenerational family dynamics, says the comments on her videos reveal a sharp divide. Facebook users, many of whom are older, often defend parents\u2019 right to spend their money as they please.<\/p>\n<p>On Instagram and TikTok, she told The Post she finds younger users frequently share stories of feeling abandoned, financially controlled, or left to struggle while watching affluent parents accumulate wealth.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed aligncenter is-type-rich is-provider-instagram wp-block-embed-instagram\"\/>\n<p>But according to estate planning attorney Robert Strauss, the conversation families are having around kitchen tables often looks very different from the one unfolding online. And often, demographics and geography shape the money mentality.<\/p>\n<p>Strauss, who advises clients worth anywhere from a few million dollars to several billion in Beverly Hills, says the internet has amplified the idea that <a href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2026\/07\/13\/opinion\/quit-whining-aoc-gen-z-should-thank-boomers-for-what-theyre-leaving-behind\/\">wealthy parents are increasingly cutting their children out of their fortunes.<\/a> In reality, he says, that\u2019s rarely what he sees.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI would have a hard time finding a client who didn\u2019t leave all of their assets to their kids,\u201d Strauss told The Post, referring to most families with less than $10 million in assets.<\/p>\n<p>Even among ultra-wealthy families, where trusts, philanthropy and complex estate plans are more common, Strauss says most parents ultimately leave significant wealth to their children. The bigger question isn\u2019t whether they\u2019ll inherit \u2014 it\u2019s how much support parents should provide while everyone is still alive.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Bendell\u2019s life has been turned upside down with aging parents in the hospital and dwindling finances. <span class=\"credit\">Tamara Beckwith\/NY Post<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>In the end, Strauss says families often end up arguing over two very different questions: whether children should eventually inherit their parents\u2019 wealth, and whether they should benefit from it while their parents are still alive.<\/p>\n<p>Not every family, however, is withholding wealth by choice.<\/p>\n<p>For Bliss Bendell, 43, the expectation that financial help would always be there slowly dissolved \u2014 not because her parents refused to give it, but because life got there first.<\/p>\n<p>Growing up on Manhattan\u2019s Upper East Side, Bendell enjoyed what she described as an enviable childhood.<\/p>\n<p>Her father worked on Wall Street. They had a family home in the Hamptons, took vacations, had boats and horses, and lived with the kind of financial security that led many to assume an inheritance was inevitable.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Bliss Bendell and her dog Murphy at the home she shared with her parents on East 77th Street on Wednesday, August 5, 2026. Bendall\u2019s life has been turned upside down with aging parents in the hospital and dwindling finances. <span class=\"credit\">Tamara Beckwith\/NY Post<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cI had charge accounts and credit cards. I never saw the bills,\u201d Bendell told The Post. \u201cPeople assume I received financial help throughout my life. The reality is much more complicated.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As her parents aged, everything changed.<\/p>\n<p>Her mother developed Alzheimer\u2019s disease while her father suffered serious health problems and was unable to work. <\/p>\n<p>Since the pandemic, the pair have cycled through dozens of hospital stays as medical bills mounted and long-term care costs ballooned.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere was absolutely nothing left, which came as quite a shock,\u201d Bendell said. \u201cI always thought my dad had it all under control.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Watching her family\u2019s finances unravel has changed the way she thinks about inheritance altogether.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know if my dad ever planned to live this long,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<script async=\"async\" data-cfasync=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/pl30214220.effectivecpmnetwork.com\/9ab3d4df8a7e1a6171e16ddbf732cc19\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<div id=\"container-9ab3d4df8a7e1a6171e16ddbf732cc19\"><\/div>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jason isn\u2019t asking his father for an allowance, a luxury car, or even help with rent. The 38-year-old New York City-based comedian has spent years making what he considers \u201creasonable requests\u201d with a clear plan and proposal. He wants a shot at the big time \u2014 a $600 improv class, a plane ticket to Los&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":37315,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/08\/newspress-collage-lsxsllkeo-1786381505239.jpg?quality=75&strip=all&1786367187&w=1200","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37314","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pics-news"],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=37314"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37314\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/37315"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=37314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=37314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=37314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}