{"id":21217,"date":"2026-07-29T19:05:44","date_gmt":"2026-07-29T14:05:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/?p=21217"},"modified":"2026-07-29T19:05:44","modified_gmt":"2026-07-29T14:05:44","slug":"how-to-stop-being-so-defensive-during-arguments","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/?p=21217","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Being So Defensive During Arguments"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script>\r\n  atOptions = {\r\n    'key' : '644b717812d811d6a1c1fc5b6ccd6fa6',\r\n    'format' : 'iframe',\r\n    'height' : 90,\r\n    'width' : 728,\r\n    'params' : {}\r\n  };\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script src=\"https:\/\/www.highperformanceformat.com\/644b717812d811d6a1c1fc5b6ccd6fa6\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div data-testid=\"paragraph-content\">\n<div>\n<p data-testid=\"paragraph-element\" class=\"rich-text mb-6 font-graphik text-body-large text-black-coffee mt-8 focus-visible:outline focus-visible:outline-black-coffee focus-visible:outline-2 focus-visible:outline-offset-2 focus-visible:shadow-focus-color text-left\">Sometimes, you become defensive precisely because being a good partner\u2014or friend or employee\u2014matters so much to you. \u201cIt&#8217;s a sign that they care so much that they&#8217;re terrified of getting it wrong,\u201d Harrison says.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><h2 id=\"trade-certainty-for-curiosity\" class=\"scroll-mt-24 font-editorial text-black-coffee text-mobile-h2 lg:scroll-mt-28 lg:text-h2 mb-4\"><strong>Trade certainty for curiosity<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p data-testid=\"paragraph-element\" class=\"rich-text mb-6 font-graphik text-body-large text-black-coffee mt-8 focus-visible:outline focus-visible:outline-black-coffee focus-visible:outline-2 focus-visible:outline-offset-2 focus-visible:shadow-focus-color text-left\">Defensiveness has a way of making you feel absolutely certain: You\u2019re right, they\u2019re wrong, and if you could just explain yourself clearly enough, they would finally see it. But the harder you work to prove your point, the less attention you\u2019re paying to theirs.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p data-testid=\"paragraph-element\" class=\"rich-text mb-6 font-graphik text-body-large text-black-coffee mt-8 focus-visible:outline focus-visible:outline-black-coffee focus-visible:outline-2 focus-visible:outline-offset-2 focus-visible:shadow-focus-color text-left\">Katzman, who has spent decades in improvisational theater alongside his clinical work, suggests doing the opposite. \u201cThe way out is not to think faster,\u201d he says. \u201cIt&#8217;s really to become curious sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div>\n<p data-testid=\"paragraph-element\" class=\"rich-text mb-6 font-graphik text-body-large text-black-coffee mt-8 focus-visible:outline focus-visible:outline-black-coffee focus-visible:outline-2 focus-visible:outline-offset-2 focus-visible:shadow-focus-color text-left\">Improv offers a surprisingly useful model. Onstage, \u201cblocking\u201d means rejecting the premise your scene partner has introduced. If they announce that it\u2019s raining and you insist that it isn\u2019t, the scene has nowhere to go. \u201cWhen we block each other, that&#8217;s what defensiveness really does,\u201d Katzman says. \u201cI&#8217;m negating your reality, you&#8217;re negating mine.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<script async=\"async\" data-cfasync=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/pl30214220.effectivecpmnetwork.com\/9ab3d4df8a7e1a6171e16ddbf732cc19\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<div id=\"container-9ab3d4df8a7e1a6171e16ddbf732cc19\"><\/div>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes, you become defensive precisely because being a good partner\u2014or friend or employee\u2014matters so much to you. \u201cIt&#8217;s a sign that they care so much that they&#8217;re terrified of getting it wrong,\u201d Harrison says. Trade certainty for curiosity Defensiveness has a way of making you feel absolutely certain: You\u2019re right, they\u2019re wrong, and if you&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21218,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/static.time.com\/v3\/assets\/bltea6093859af6183b\/blt6420cc12cdabbc0b\/6a69271ee6110c4091478a87\/How_to_Stop_Being_Defensive.png?branch=production&width=3840&quality=75&auto=webp&crop=16:9","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pics-news"],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21217","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21217"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21217\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/21218"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}