{"id":21115,"date":"2026-07-29T16:47:25","date_gmt":"2026-07-29T11:47:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/?p=21115"},"modified":"2026-07-29T16:47:25","modified_gmt":"2026-07-29T11:47:25","slug":"hiring-a-matchmaker-read-this-before-dropping-thousands-of-dollars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/?p=21115","title":{"rendered":"Hiring a matchmaker? Read this before dropping thousands of dollars."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script>\r\n  atOptions = {\r\n    'key' : '644b717812d811d6a1c1fc5b6ccd6fa6',\r\n    'format' : 'iframe',\r\n    'height' : 90,\r\n    'width' : 728,\r\n    'params' : {}\r\n  };\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script src=\"https:\/\/www.highperformanceformat.com\/644b717812d811d6a1c1fc5b6ccd6fa6\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<br \/>\n<br \/><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/helios-i.mashable.com\/imagery\/articles\/04RS9wgXzQpAyHHvni25Ynz\/hero-image.jpg\" alt=\"two surprised people being pushed together by giant hands\"><\/p>\n<p>Singles are growing increasingly <a href=\"https:\/\/mashable.com\/life\/dating-in-2026-for-men\" target=\"_blank\" data-ga-click=\"1\" data-ga-label=\"$text\" data-ga-item=\"text-link\" data-ga-module=\"content_body\"><u>disenchanted with dating apps<\/u><\/a>, and those with the means are turning to matchmakers. But with such an investment &mdash; oftentimes thousands of dollars, which is way more than <a href=\"https:\/\/mashable.com\/article\/what-is-tinder-questions-answered\" target=\"_blank\" data-ga-click=\"1\" data-ga-label=\"$text\" data-ga-item=\"text-link\" data-ga-module=\"content_body\">Tinder Gold<\/a> &mdash; there&#8217;s a lot at stake.<\/p>\n<p>Matchmaker <a href=\"https:\/\/sameerasullivan.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" data-ga-click=\"1\" data-ga-label=\"$text\" data-ga-item=\"text-link\" data-ga-module=\"content_body\"><u>Sameera Sullivan<\/u><\/a> told Mashable she&#8217;s been a matchmaker in the U.S. for almost 15 years now, first at an international agency (though she didn&#8217;t name which one) and then striking out on her own.&nbsp;Previously, she worked as a recruiter in the aerospace and defense industry, and then was recruited herself to be a matchmaker. Before matchmaking, she would always coach and help friends.<\/p>\n<div class=\"flex mx-auto mt-8 w-full max-w-3xl font-sans text-lg leading-normal md:text-xl md:leading-7\">\n        <span class=\"font-bold text-primary-400\">SEE ALSO:<\/span><br \/>\n        <a href=\"https:\/\/mashable.com\/article\/what-materialists-got-wrong-and-right\" class=\"flex items-center text-secondary-300\"><br \/>\n            <span class=\"ml-1\">What &#8216;Materialists&#8217; got wrong (and right), according to matchmakers<\/span><\/p>\n<p>        <\/a>\n    <\/div>\n<p>When she worked for the agency, &#8220;that&#8217;s when I started realizing how crazy this industry can be,&#8221; she said. Sullivan stayed there for less than a year and observed what they were doing &#8220;wrong,&#8221; and then started doing her own thing.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>What did they do wrong? These &#8220;bigbox&#8221; matchmaking agencies are &#8220;living off their brand,&#8221; she said. &#8220;The owners are not really involved [and] they will take on everybody,&#8221; she explained. &#8220;Then there are newer companies who are doing a lot of marketing and SEO&hellip;which is fine, but they&#8217;re marketing to every demographic.&#8221;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Matchmaking is a centuries-old practice in places like India and China, but what was once a community-oriented assist has now become a booming business, especially stateside. With arguably as many options for matchmakers out there as <a href=\"https:\/\/mashable.com\/uk\/roundup\/best-dating-sites-for-serious-relationships\" target=\"_blank\" data-ga-click=\"1\" data-ga-label=\"$text\" data-ga-item=\"text-link\" data-ga-module=\"content_body\">dating apps<\/a>, you&#8217;re going to need to be discerning.  If you&#8217;re in a position to hire a matchmaker, here&#8217;s what to do, according to Sullivan and some of her clients.<\/p>\n<h2>Why hire a matchmaker?<\/h2>\n<p>Sullivan&#8217;s clients who spoke to Mashable have paid thousands of dollars &mdash; in the five figures &mdash; for her services and those of other matchmakers. Why drop so much money when, in relative terms, a <a href=\"https:\/\/mashable.com\/article\/how-does-bumble-work-is-it-free\" target=\"_blank\" data-ga-click=\"1\" data-ga-label=\"$text\" data-ga-item=\"text-link\" data-ga-module=\"content_body\">paid dating app subscription<\/a> is much cheaper?<\/p>\n<p>A male client, 65 to 70 years old, who requested anonymity when speaking to Mashable, said he had <a href=\"https:\/\/mashable.com\/article\/dating-app-fatigue-has-led-to-a-flurry-of-irl-singles-events\" target=\"_blank\" data-ga-click=\"1\" data-ga-label=\"$text\" data-ga-item=\"text-link\" data-ga-module=\"content_body\"><u>dating site fatigue<\/u><\/a> and wanted to find an alternative. He wanted a boutique, bespoke service with better filtering.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Just moving from dating sites to a matchmaker gives you, I think, a better pool,&#8221; he said. The singles are pre-screened and are definitely interested in a relationship, unlike on dating apps, where users&#8217; desires range widely. And from a safety standpoint, it might be better, given increased vetting. <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Vetting is the most important thing in matchmaking,&#8221; Sullivan said. <\/p>\n<p>Sullivan told Mashable that her vetting process includes not just a criminal background check, but also a background check for their career history, if they&#8217;ve owned any homes, marriage history, and the like. If they were previously married, they would check to make sure they&#8217;re fully divorced. She or her team also conducts interviews, typically 90 minutes long, to learn more about them and what they&#8217;re looking for. <\/p>\n<p>How thorough background checks are depends on the service you use, however. Cheryl, who has worked with Sullivan, had a bad experience when a previous service matched her with men out of her home state. Keeping an open mind, she flew to Florida to meet one, and during dinner (which he didn&#8217;t pay for), he &#8220;joked&#8221; that he&#8217;d take her for everything she&#8217;s worth.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The waiter paused and looked at me, and I paused and looked at him, and&hellip; at one point I said, &#8216;Hey, just so you know, you said that out loud, and I can see you,'&#8221; she said. &#8220;I think he was using the service as a way to find rich women.&#8221;&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Cheryl reported the man to the service, and they did remove him. However, the experience didn&#8217;t turn her off matchmaking entirely &mdash; she found Sullivan when looking for a matchmaker close by.<\/p>\n<h2>Matchmaker red flags<\/h2>\n<p>When you reach out to matchmaking services, they&#8217;ll often have a consultation first before they take you on, usually through a phone call. During this call, you might be able to spot some red flags.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Be on the lookout for any promises or guarantees they make. Some services guarantee match offerings, but beyond that, they can&#8217;t tell you they&#8217;re going to find you a spouse. Sullivan&#8217;s client, Ro, tried a big matchmaking agency, and the salesperson who spoke to him sold him on it. When FaceTiming, Ro says she told him that finding him a partner would be a slam dunk &mdash; but then, after he signed up, she said she doesn&#8217;t handle clients, and palmed him off to a colleague.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That was a disappointment right away,&#8221; Ro said. He was also promised weekly check-ins, but then didn&#8217;t hear from the service for two or three weeks at a time.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;They promised me a minimum amount of dates. They came through with the minimum amount of connections, but I turned a lot of them down,&#8221; he recalled. &#8220;They just didn&#8217;t get me.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><q><br \/>\n    &#8220;I&#8217;m not going to find you love. I&#8217;m going to find you candidates.&#8221;<br \/>\n    <\/q><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I run a company, and we do sales, and I just don&#8217;t love salespeople that are selling me on stuff,&#8221; Richard, another client who has used multiple matchmaking services, said. He found Sullivan authentic because she didn&#8217;t make those promises. She told him, &#8220;I&#8217;m not going to find you love. I&#8217;m going to find you candidates.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Another potential red flag (depending) is the clientele of the business. If they promise to provide services to every demographic, they may not be able to focus on a specific group and their needs (for instance, a certain religion or gender).&nbsp;Some matchmakers are specific to certain locations (if you search for &#8220;California matchmakers,&#8221; for instance, you&#8217;ll find some that tailor to singles in that state, and you&#8217;ll also find services that are nationwide or global).<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We have a moral code,&#8221; Sullivan said of matchmakers. &#8220;We have a responsibility that we have to be responsible for who we take on, because we cannot take on everyone. Not everyone is going to be our client who&#8217;s willing to pay us.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Sullivan only takes on certain clients. She charges a premium price (some clients pay in the six figures), but it&#8217;s not just about who can pay; it&#8217;s about who wants to do the work. She employees a coach who assesses clients based on <a href=\"https:\/\/mashable.com\/article\/attachment-theory-explained\" target=\"_blank\" data-ga-click=\"1\" data-ga-label=\"$text\" data-ga-item=\"text-link\" data-ga-module=\"content_body\">attachment styles<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/helenfisher.com\/personality\/\" target=\"_blank\" data-ga-click=\"1\" data-ga-label=\"$text\" data-ga-item=\"text-link\" data-ga-module=\"content_body\">Dr. Helen Fisher&#8217;s personality test<\/a>, and uses the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/about\/the-gottman-method\/\" target=\"_blank\" data-ga-click=\"1\" data-ga-label=\"$text\" data-ga-item=\"text-link\" data-ga-module=\"content_body\">Gottman Method<\/a> of couples&#8217; therapy. If potential clients aren&#8217;t into this, she doesn&#8217;t work with them.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Some guys just want dates, and that&#8217;s not my thing,&#8221; she said. And while she has a free and priority (paid) database of women &mdash; who are also vetted &mdash; her clientele is only men. <\/p>\n<p>Some services, though, are more focused on money than integrity, she said, and agree to take on anyone.<\/p>\n<h2>Questions for the matchmaker<\/h2>\n<p>When consulting with a matchmaker, you can ask them to show you some sample profiles of potential matches in their database. One of the most important things Sullivan tells people to ask is: Are the people you&#8217;re showing me single and available today? Have they been pre-screened? (Meaning, have they spoken to the matchmaking service?)<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You need to have a very detailed conversation,&#8221; Sullivan said.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>The matchmaker may say they can&#8217;t show you because you haven&#8217;t started with them yet (especially if they&#8217;re waiting for your check to clear), but Sullivan said that&#8217;s BS, because the person they&#8217;re showing you during a consultation should be a fit. &#8220;If you&#8217;re going to take somebody on and you&#8217;re telling them, &#8216;These are the five women we have [for you],&#8217; three of them should be available and single,&#8221; she said.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Another thing to ask is who you&#8217;re going to be working with &mdash; the salesperson? If so, how long have they been with the company? That was an issue in Ro&#8217;s case; he bonded with the salesperson, but didn&#8217;t end up working with her. Who you end up working with depends on the matchmaking service. At Sullivan&#8217;s, for instance, you could end up working with the first person who screens you. <\/p>\n<p>Another important aspect to bring up is location. If you&#8217;re only looking for a match in Arizona, for instance, the matchmaker should be able to show you singles in Arizona. Local is important, obviously, and there are matchmakers all over; if the one you&#8217;re speaking to doesn&#8217;t have clients where you are, they could refer you to someone who does.<\/p>\n<p><q><br \/>\n    &#8220;Love&#8217;s tricky.&#8221;<br \/>\n    <\/q><\/p>\n<p>Richard said the most important thing is connecting with your matchmaker, because you&#8217;re going to spend a lot of time on the phone with them. Both he and Ro said to do your due diligence and research.&nbsp;You can look on Google or Reddit to see how people review different services (but, as with everything, take it with a grain of salt.)<\/p>\n<p>Even if you do everything right, however, love and marriage aren&#8217;t guaranteed. &#8220;It may or may not work.&#8221; The difference, she said, is that you&#8217;re not doing the looking. So measure your expectations because, as she said, &#8220;Love&#8217;s tricky.&#8221;<\/p>\n<script async=\"async\" data-cfasync=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/pl30214220.effectivecpmnetwork.com\/9ab3d4df8a7e1a6171e16ddbf732cc19\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<div id=\"container-9ab3d4df8a7e1a6171e16ddbf732cc19\"><\/div>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Singles are growing increasingly disenchanted with dating apps, and those with the means are turning to matchmakers. But with such an investment &mdash; oftentimes thousands of dollars, which is way more than Tinder Gold &mdash; there&#8217;s a lot at stake. Matchmaker Sameera Sullivan told Mashable she&#8217;s been a matchmaker in the U.S. for almost 15&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21116,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/helios-i.mashable.com\/imagery\/articles\/04RS9wgXzQpAyHHvni25Ynz\/hero-image.fill.size_1200x675.v1785165692.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21115","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-real-trending-viral-news"],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21115","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=21115"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21115\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/21116"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=21115"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=21115"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=21115"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}