{"id":14758,"date":"2026-07-23T15:46:36","date_gmt":"2026-07-23T10:46:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/?p=14758"},"modified":"2026-07-23T15:46:36","modified_gmt":"2026-07-23T10:46:36","slug":"hallucinations-told-me-to-stab-my-kid-lindsay-clancys-story-is-familiar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/?p=14758","title":{"rendered":"Hallucinations told me to stab my kid \u2014 Lindsay Clancy&#8217;s story is familiar"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script>\r\n  atOptions = {\r\n    'key' : '644b717812d811d6a1c1fc5b6ccd6fa6',\r\n    'format' : 'iframe',\r\n    'height' : 90,\r\n    'width' : 728,\r\n    'params' : {}\r\n  };\r\n<\/script>\r\n<script src=\"https:\/\/www.highperformanceformat.com\/644b717812d811d6a1c1fc5b6ccd6fa6\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<br \/>\n<br \/><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F2%2F2026%2F07%2Fnewspress-collage-vt9ucxt3w-1784744999177.jpg?quality%3D90%26strip%3Dall%261784730628\" \/><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>Aaisha Alvi was sitting in a doctor\u2019s office when she first heard the command.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cStab Lina! Stab Lina! Stab Lina!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At the same time, she saw a vision of a long carver knife plunging into her 4-year-old daughter Lina\u2019s chest again and again.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI didn\u2019t want to do what the voice was telling me, but at the same time, I felt like it was going to make me do it,\u201d she told The Post.<\/p>\n<p>The voice \u2014\u00a0one only she could hear \u2014\u00a0had first appeared two months earlier, after suffering a miscarriage.<\/p>\n<p> \u201cAt that point, I started screaming to the doctor, \u2018Just give me something to make this all stop,&#8217;\u201d recalled Alvi.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Lindsay Clancy, 36, has pleaded not guilty to killing her three young children in January 2023 before attempting suicide, leaving herself paralyzed. Another mom shared her own story of postpartum psychosis with The Post. <span class=\"credit\">Facebook \/ Lindsay Marie Clancy<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t want to be locked up,\u201d she pleaded to the doctor, rambling verses of scripture about the sanctity of life. \u201cI\u2019m feeling forced to do bad things to people and to myself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When asked what those bad things were, Alvi couldn\u2019t bring herself to say. \u201cI didn\u2019t articulate exactly what they were because it just felt like they were so profoundly evil that I couldn\u2019t,\u201d she remembered. \u201cI just said they were evil things.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Alvi said the doctor didn\u2019t ask any follow-up questions, deciding she didn\u2019t require hospitalization \u2014\u00a0and that admitting her would be a very difficult process anyway. Instead, the doctor prescribed medication for panic attacks. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cI did take the medications, but they continued to worsen,\u201d she recalled. <\/p>\n<p>Then, as had happened after four previous appointments with other doctors, she was sent home.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module aligncenter wp-block-nypost-editor-primary-tag\">\n<\/aside>\n<p>Nearly two decades later, that afternoon still haunts Alvi \u2014 not only because it was one of the darkest moments of her life, but because it represented a failure she believes should never have happened.<\/p>\n<p>As the murder trial of Massachusetts mother Lindsay Clancy begins, postpartum psychosis \u2014\u00a0a rare, severe psychiatric emergency \u2014\u00a0 has thrust a little-understood illness into the national spotlight.<\/p>\n<p>Clancy, 36, has pleaded not guilty to killing her three young children in January 2023 before attempting suicide, leaving herself paralyzed. <\/p>\n<p>Her attorneys are expected to argue that she was suffering from postpartum psychosis, while prosecutors contend the killings were deliberate.<\/p>\n<p>The case has also prompted renewed questions about how postpartum psychosis presents, whether it can be recognized before tragedy occurs and why it is so often misunderstood and stigmatized. Alvi, an author, uses a pen name in her work and does not show her face for this reason.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Clancy\u2019s trial started on Monday with jury selection. <span class=\"credit\">USA TODAY Network via Reuters Connect<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How could psychosis drive a mom to violence?<\/h2>\n<p>For Alvi, that question is painfully familiar.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know it can be incredibly hard to believe an illness can make you think and do things you don\u2019t want to do,\u201d she said. \u201cI would never have believed that myself if I had not experienced it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She had no reason to think she was at risk, with no history of mental illness before becoming pregnant with her daughter in 2002. <\/p>\n<p>Her pregnancy had been relatively smooth, and she and her husband, Adam, had eagerly prepared a nursery and bought all the popular baby books. <\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\">\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201cI experienced visual hallucinations of like corpses, decapitated heads \u2014 very, very terrifying things. [I believed] I was in a third dimension, where I would be able to see the devil.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><cite>Aaisha Alvi<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n<p>But within a week of giving birth, anxiety settled over her with startling intensity. Depression followed. At first, the changes seemed almost explainable \u2014 the exhaustion of caring for a newborn, the emotional upheaval of childbirth, the overwhelming responsibility of keeping an infant alive. <\/p>\n<p>Then reality itself began to shift.<\/p>\n<p>She became convinced that members of her family wanted to harm her daughter. And, she recalled, \u201cI started to believe that my baby was not really a baby, but that she was an adult pretending to be a baby.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe worst symptom for me during that episode of postpartum psychosis was that I believed that my husband wanted to molest our daughter,\u201d Alvi said. \u201cThey were delusions, but I didn\u2019t know it at the time. I believed them so sincerely.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Aaisha Alvi went through the horror twice, hallucinating and scaring herself. But she\u2019s obscuring her identity because of the stigma that still exists. <span class=\"credit\">Aaisha Alvi<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Her husband remembers watching the transformation with growing alarm. Ordinarily, Alvi was deeply connected to her family \u2014\u00a0but she suddenly withdrew from them. At one point, she suggested they give their newborn daughter up for adoption.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s how I knew something was not right with her,\u201d Adam said.<\/p>\n<p>The delusions eventually drove Alvi to attack him while he was driving them on the highway. \u201cI was just so disgusted by the thought of what I believed he was planning to do to our daughter,\u201d she said. \u201cThat\u2019s how strong the beliefs that I had were.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Despite the dramatic change in her behavior, doctors twice dismissed her symptoms. But four months later, the psychosis disappeared almost as suddenly as it had begun: \u201cI just woke up one day and returned to my previous baseline.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She had survived an episode of postpartum psychosis without ever learning its name. <\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Clancy\u2019s defense is claiming she was suffering from postpartum psychosis.  <span class=\"credit\">Facebook \/ Lindsay Marie Clancy<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When hallucinations take control<\/h2>\n<p>For the next four years, Alvi remained terrified of becoming pregnant again. But as time softened the memories, she and Adam decided to try for the second child they had always wanted.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, the pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Grief arrived, then the worryingly familiar anxiety, depression and loss of reality.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignright\">\n\t<\/aside>\n<p>She sought medical help immediately, multiple times, explaining to each provider that something was terribly wrong. Again and again, she was told she was grieving.<\/p>\n<p>But, she recalled, \u201cMy symptoms kept worsening.\u201d <\/p>\n<p>Within weeks, the illness had progressed beyond anything she experienced after her daughter\u2019s birth.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI clearly expressed that I felt like I was hearing a voice,\u201d said Alvi. \u201cI told them I felt like I was being forced against my wishes to do evil things to others.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The voice, which she described as sounding like a \u201cvery aggressive, angry man,\u201d drowned her own thoughts, issuing horrifying commands. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cI experienced visual hallucinations of like corpses, decapitated heads \u2014 very, very terrifying things,\u201d remembered Alvi. \u201cI had gotten to the point of believing I was in a third dimension, where I would be able to see the devil.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>What terrified her most was the growing realization that she could no longer trust herself to know what was real.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>After killing her children, Clancy attempted to kill herself. It left her paralyzed. <span class=\"credit\">Facebook \/ Lindsay Marie Clancy<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cI began hearing command hallucinations, which were ordering me to stab my daughter to death,\u201d she said. \u201cI did not want to in any way harm my daughter. That\u2019s why I was actually at the doctor, because I was looking for help.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her husband\u2019s frustration grew with every appointment. He watched his wife stop eating. She barely slept. She lost interest in the daughter she had once doted on.<\/p>\n<p>Only a few days into Alvi\u2019s second bout of postpartum psychosis, her mother insisted she move into her home so she wouldn\u2019t be left alone while Adam worked. He readily agreed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI could so clearly see something was wrong with her,\u201d he remembered. <\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignright\">\n\t<\/aside>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why postpartum psychosis so often gets missed \u2014 even by doctors<\/h2>\n<p>Stories like Alvi\u2019s illustrate why postpartum psychosis remains one of the most challenging psychiatric emergencies to recognize, Dr. Uruj Haider, a perinatal psychiatrist and medical director of MCPAP for Moms, told The Post.<\/p>\n<p>Similar to postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis symptoms can wax and wane. \u201cThe women may be coherent and appear even normal one minute, but a couple of minutes to hours later, they may be very confused, and in rare cases, floridly psychotic,\u201d explained Haider.<\/p>\n<p>However, postpartum psychosis is the only postpartum condition marked by extremely rapid clinical deterioration, meaning it can onset suddenly within days of giving birth, causing hallucinations, delusions and bizarre behavior, similar to Alvi\u2019s experiences.<\/p>\n<p>Hallucinations are also not always present at the outset, and early warning signs \u2014 including severe insomnia, confusion, irritability, disorganized thinking and unusually rapid speech \u2014 can easily be mistaken for exhaustion or anxiety.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere is a spectrum of psychotic symptoms, and the signs and symptoms can be very subtle, so I refer to these as pink flags\u201d said Haider. \u201cExamples of pink flag signs may be irritability, disorganization, disorientation or confusion and rapid speech.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Although postpartum psychosis affects an estimated 1 to 2 women per 1,000 births, roughly half of cases have no previous psychiatric history, making it difficult for families and even clinicians to anticipate. The highest-risk period is generally within the first several weeks after childbirth, when profound sleep disruption and hormonal changes coincide.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Dr. Uruj Haider, a perinatal psychiatrist, explained why postpartum psychosis can be so difficult to recognize. <span class=\"credit\">Dr. Uruj Haider<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>For Alvi, the breakthrough came only after she found a perinatal psychiatrist familiar with postpartum psychosis. <\/p>\n<p>Unlike the brief appointments Alvi had grown accustomed to, the evaluation lasted about 90 minutes. <\/p>\n<p>And for the first time, someone recognized the illness Alvi had spent years trying to describe. She was diagnosed with postpartum psychosis and prescribed \u201cthe tiniest possible dose\u201d of an antipsychotic medication.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignright\">\n\t<\/aside>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Getting help<\/h2>\n<p>The change was almost immediate.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI repeatedly called my psychiatrist over the course of a week, and she increased the dosage of antipsychotic medication from one pill to 10 pills a day,\u201d recalled Alvi. \u201cIt was at that point that my psychosis broke.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The hallucinations receded. The delusions loosened their grip. Within a few months, she was well enough to stop taking the medication. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe fact that I could get better so fast is just so damning,\u201d said Alvi. \u201cIf my doctor had not spent the time that she spent with me, I would not be alive today, and my daughter would not be alive today.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Nearly 20 years later, she has never experienced another episode of psychosis outside the postpartum period. That recovery, she believes, is one of the most important parts of her story.<\/p>\n<p>Public attention often focuses on the most tragic outcomes associated with postpartum psychosis. Far less attention is paid to the fact that the illness is treatable when recognized and caught early, particularly with specialized psychiatric care.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe goal of treatment is to achieve full symptom control while minimizing adverse effects through careful monitoring and medication adjustments,\u201d said Haider. \u201cThis includes using the lowest effective dose that maintains stability, regularly assessing symptoms and side effects and tailoring treatment to each patient\u2019s clinical history, risk factors and reproductive goals.\u201d <\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\">\n<blockquote>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s the most sad part about Lindsey Clancy\u2019s story and my situation. We were not hiding our symptoms. We did all the right things.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><cite>Aaisha Alvi<\/cite><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/figure>\n<p>But because postpartum psychosis is uncommon, many frontline clinicians may encounter very few cases during their careers.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf there\u2019s any concern from the patient, the partner or family members, get that mom connected to a psychiatric clinician as soon as possible,\u201d she advised. \u201cIf they are actually actively psychotic or manic, then get them to the ER and make sure the baby is being taken care of and with family.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Alvi wrote the memoir \u201cA Mom Like That: A Memoir of Postpartum Psychosis\u201d about her experience. <span class=\"credit\">Aaisha Alvi<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Lindsay Clancy\u2019s story<\/h2>\n<p>Today, Alvi spends much of her time trying to ensure other women and families recognize what she could not.<\/p>\n<p>She speaks publicly about postpartum psychosis, volunteers with maternal mental health organizations and wrote the memoir \u201c<a data-aps-asc-tag=\"nypost-20\" data-aps-asin=\"1459754506\" data-wrapped-template=\"https:\/\/r.nypostlink.com?btn_ref=org-19984c113c692001&amp;btn_url\" href=\"https:\/\/r.nypostlink.com?btn_ref=org-19984c113c692001&amp;btn_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fdp%2F1459754506%3Ftag%3Dnypost-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%3A%2F%2Fnypost.com%2F2026%2F07%2F23%2Fhealth%2Fhallucinations-told-me-to-stab-my-kid-lindsay-clancys-story-is-familiar%2F%26asc_source%3Dweb\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" data-nyp-affiliate=\"true\">A Mom Like That: A Memoir of Postpartum Psychosis<\/a>,\u201d hoping to give language to an illness that feels unspeakable for many women.<\/p>\n<p>She published under a pen name because postpartum psychosis remains so misunderstood and stigmatized that many women who have experienced fear being judged or criminalized.<\/p>\n<p>As the Clancy trial unfolds, Alvi hopes public attention extends beyond the courtroom. Whatever the legal outcome, she wants families, physicians and policymakers to come away with a better understanding of postpartum psychosis \u2014 and a greater sense of urgency.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s the most sad part about Lindsey Clancy\u2019s story and my situation,\u201d said Alvi. \u201cWe were not hiding our symptoms. We did all the right things. We sought out care multiple times from the systems meant to help and protect us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She hopes one day those conversations begin much sooner, not just after a tragedy. And that the healthcare system is prepared to listen.<\/p>\n<p>Because Alvi knows, perhaps better than most, how much can depend on being heard the first time.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t want what happened to me to happen to anyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n<p><em>If you or someone you know is or may be struggling with postpartum mental health issues, contact a medical professional and visit\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/urldefense.com\/v3\/__https:\/\/www.postpartum.net\/__;!!F0Stn7g!HPe41dn7abt58vjiOP6nlCvV_rBdoVvUTfLtolOyW5kxznR-aHJRqRIGldRCSrJiSUQA00CyfnJ5qF7HOhgadynv69I5$\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">postpartum.net<\/a>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<script async=\"async\" data-cfasync=\"false\" src=\"https:\/\/pl30214220.effectivecpmnetwork.com\/9ab3d4df8a7e1a6171e16ddbf732cc19\/invoke.js\"><\/script>\r\n<div id=\"container-9ab3d4df8a7e1a6171e16ddbf732cc19\"><\/div>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Aaisha Alvi was sitting in a doctor\u2019s office when she first heard the command. \u201cStab Lina! Stab Lina! Stab Lina!\u201d At the same time, she saw a vision of a long carver knife plunging into her 4-year-old daughter Lina\u2019s chest again and again. \u201cI didn\u2019t want to do what the voice was telling me, but&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14759,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2026\/07\/newspress-collage-vt9ucxt3w-1784744999177.jpg?quality=75&strip=all&1784730628&w=1200","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news-hub"],"brizy_media":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14758","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14758"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14758\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14759"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14758"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14758"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/usnews-14267fa.ingress-comporellon.ewp.live\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14758"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}